Sentimental Value
ELIS BILAL
You still wear that charm I gave you
The symbol of our connection
Of conversations had
Spanning days
Weeks
And months
When you said you felt cursed
Until I came along to protect you
The truth is you were never cursed
Not even close to unlucky
Just needing an eye to look out for you
Which I would do again and again
With my back pressed against the wall
I close my eyes to stop the tears
Staring at that charm
Winking back at me
Taunting me
A piercing reminder
That we don’t talk anymore
That our conversations shortened
Then dwindled and died
Buried under the weight
Of secrets and rumours
Turning our world on its head
Perhaps I am too sentimental
For feeling that materials carry memory
A book can hold more stories
Than what is printed on its pages
Or the plushie I have that matches yours
Holds the soul
Of a past
That for the life of me I fail to recall
In any real way
Aside from a dreamy fantasia
That slips through my fingers like mist
On the cold day we parted ways
That charm
Just hanging there
Holding more power over me than it deserves to
A reminiscence trapped
In metal and plastic
A symbol of how I thought of you
From ten thousand miles away
How I missed you
Sitting on the park bench
That you loved so dearly
In our shared favourite place
How even though I felt so lucky
To be in that place and time
I prayed one day we could be there together
I think of stealing it from where it hangs
One final act of vengeance
To completely erase me
As you so desire
So I don’t have to wonder anymore
That maybe we could be friends once more
That maybe you would think of me softly
From time to time
And maybe I didn’t dream of
All the glances and touches
We exchanged like currency
My hands tremble
Beckoning towards it
But I know that taking it won’t change
A single thing between us
Like how you hate me now
Even if you insist you don’t
How I know you’re not hurting from this
Even though you pretend you are
I’m ruined here
And yet
For the sake of the memories we share
And the affection for something so menial
Something so greatly insignificant holds
It’s enough for me to respect
That in order to leave behind
Everything we used to share
I need to let you keep pieces of me
That in time
I’ll no longer need